Communication (or the breakdown of communication) is the most common issue that people want to address when they come for couples therapy.

In the early days of a romantic relationship, couples usually hang on every word the other person says.  They find talking to each other comes easy.  They enjoy how the other person is interested in what they have to say.  They are eager to hear about their partner’s interests, opinions, thoughts and experiences.  They enjoy the easy, comfortable body language they share.

As time passes, the busyness of life can compromise that easy communication.  The couple’s relationship gets moved down the priority list.  Work, children, finances and other out-of-home commitments take up increasing amounts of time, and the couple find themselves taking each other for granted.

We at Reconnect Couples Therapy can help you understand what may be going on.

Appreciating Communication Style

Discovering and appreciating your own and your partner’s communication style can provide valuable insight.

Some people may talk a lot and process their thoughts as they speak.  Other people may prefer to process quietly and then speak.

When people are together for a while they can often feel that they know what the other person is thinking, and they second guess how they are going to respond to them.  Sometimes this may well be the case, but it is usually a good idea to check in with other person that you are understanding them correctly or look for clarification.

Emotion and its communication are at the heart of relationships.  Relationships cannot grow without effective communication.  Couples benefit from having courageous conversations, from approaching things they feel they don’t know how to talk about, or don’t have the words or vocabulary to talk about.

When couples take the step of seeking help and therapy for their relationship, they are sending out a clear communication.  They may be identifying that they feel in a stuck state, that they don’t know what to do, that they really want things to be better.  They are longing for connection and want to be heard and understood by each other.