Money & Finances
Financial stress is considered one of the three main areas of disharmony for couples (along with communication and conflict). It can be a major reason for arguments and even relationship breakdown. There are usually deeper emotional reasons that contribute to the conflict. When couples explore these areas they often find a way of working together to handle the issues more harmoniously. People often have different value systems around finances. These can be brought forward from their parents’ and families’ views on spending or saving. Sometimes people have very strongly held views on how they manage their money and find it difficult to see how it can be done any other way. This can create conflict and criticism within a relationship.
More often than not it is more important how couples discuss money matters than the financial situation itself. You don’t necessarily have to be in debt for money to come between you. Learning how to listen respectfully to the other person’s opinions about money management and finances is essential in order to work together in a creative way. Finding ways that allow both people to feel validated and important in the decision-making process is a desirable outcome for most couples.
Honest & Open Communication
Bringing your financial conflicts and upsetting feelings to us here at Reconnect Couples Therapy is a positive move. We can help you gain clarity and perspective on these issues. As one couple said, the cost per week of couples counselling can seem quite expensive, but not when compared with the financial and emotional cost of the breakdown of a relationship and family.
We are not financial advisers, but we can help you explore your relationship with money and each other in order for you be more harmonious in your money matters. Honesty and open communication are essential for a good relationship, and so too with money. Having regular “money dates” can be a useful way of seeing how the money is doing and also create space to connect. Chatting with each other and setting short and long-term goals can also help put a shape on what your shared money arrangements might be. It’s good to talk and dream together.